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"Social confusion has now reached a point at which the pursuit of immorality turns out to be more exhausting than compliance with the old moral codes."

"Pride, like laudanun and other poisonous medicines, is beneficial in small, though injurious in large quantities. No man who is not pleased with himself, even in a personal sense, can please others."

"Listen: We are here to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different."

"He's the kind of a guy who lights up a room just by flicking a switch."

"Success is more a function of consistent common sense than it is of genius."

"As a USENET discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one."

"I will say this about being an optimist-- even when things don't turn out well, you are certain they will get better."

"An exile's life is no life."

"By trying, we can endure adversity. Another man's, I mean."

"We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality."

"The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be reguarded as a criminal offense."

"If I find 10,000 ways something won't work, I haven't failed. I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward."