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"I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; Yet strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers."

"A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her."

"If I had to sum up in one word what makes a good manager, I'd say decisiveness. You can use the fanciest computers to gather the numbers, but in the end you have to set a timetable and act."

"Oh, my friend, it's not what they take away from you that counts. It's what you do with what you have left."

"GOUT, n. A physician's name for the rheumatism of a rich patient."

"Next to selfishness the principal cause which makes life unsatisfactory is want of mental cultivation."

"Older men declare war, but it is the youth that must fight and die."

"Sometimes a noble failure serves the world as faithfully as a distinguished success."

"All the things I really like to do are either illegal, immoral, or fattening."

"Trust in Allah, but tie your camel."