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"Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half."

"Half of the American people never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half."

"I don't want prizes. I turned down the National Institute of Arts and Letters when I was elected to it in 1976 on the grounds that I already belonged to the Diner's Club."

"Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say and not giving a damn."

"I can understand companionship. I can understand bought sex in the afternoon. I cannot understand the love affair."

"There is no human problem which could not be solved if people would simply do as I advise."

"I must take issue with the term 'a mere child,' for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult."

"If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either."

"Outings are so much more fun when we can savor them through the children's eyes."

"Level with your child by being honest. Nobody spots a phony quicker than a child."

"I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home."

"How sharper than a serpent's tooth it isTo have a thankless child!"