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"It's always useful to know where a friend-and-relation is, whether you want him or whether you don't."

"It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like 'What about lunch?'"

"People get so in the habit of worry that if you save them from drowning and put them on a bank to dry in the sun with hot chocolate and muffins they wonder whether they are catching cold."

"Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training, for it trains people as to how they shall think."

"Everyone who gets sleepy at night should have a simple decent place to lay their heads, on terms they can afford to pay."

"True compassion is more than flinging a coin to a beggar; it is not haphazard and superficial. It comes to see that an edifice that produces beggars needs restructuring."

"Art is the completion of what nature had always intended."

"A gift, with a kind countenance, is a double present."

"You can judge your age by the amount of pain you feel when you come in contact with a new idea"

"Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college."

"Discretion is knowing how to hide that which we cannot remedy."

"One picture is worth a thousand words."