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"Successful men follow the same advice they prescribe for others."

"Antagonizing people when you don't have to is like casting your garbage on the waters. One day it may come floating back, smelling worse."

"When you make a mistake, there are only three things you should ever do about it: admit it, learn from it, and don't repeat it."

"She said she usually cried at least once each day not because she was sad, but because the world was so beautiful and life was so short."

"I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do."

"She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook."

"The key to your universe is that you can choose."

"Here's to our wives and sweethearts - may they never meet."

"To love one that is great, is almost to be great one's self"

"I love the deep quiet in which I live and grow against the world and harvest what they cannot take from me by fire or sword."

"Lactomangulation, n.: Manhandling the 'open here' spout on a milk carton so badly that one has to resort to using the 'illegal' side."

"I can't tell if a straw ever saved a drowning man, but I know that a mere glance is enough to make despair pause. For in truth we who are creatures of impulse are creatures of despair."