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"Dont get married, just find someone you dont like and buy them a house."

"The Pilgrim Fathers landed on the shores of America and fell upon their knees. Then they fell upon the aborigines."

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"

"There is a good side to every situation."

"The police.....always wanting to play games."

"Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes."

"When we hear news we should always wait for the sacrament of confirmation."

"We will occasionally use this arrow notation unless there is danger of no confusion."

"If heaven is going to be full of people like Hardie, well, the Almighty can have them to himself."

"In moderate doses melancholy can be strangley comforting, darkly sweet; it can by providing contrast, give an exquisitely sharp edge to happiness, especially to pleasures of the flesh."

"EXPOSTULATION, n. One of the many methods by which fools prefer to lose their friends."

"When you work with kids who have autism, they don't reciprocate any affection. You learn to find your self- worth within what you do, not what people tell you about yourself."