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"MONARCHICAL GOVERNMENT, n. Government."

"GRAMMAR, n. A system of pitfalls thoughtfully prepared for the feet for the self-made man, along the path by which he advances to distinction."

"ENTERTAINMENT, n. Any kind of amusement whose inroads stop short of death by injection."

"TURKEY, n. A large bird whose flesh when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude. Incidentally, it is pretty good eating."

"PREVARICATOR, n. A liar in the caterpillar estate."

"JOSS-STICKS, n. Small sticks burned by the Chinese in their pagan tomfoolery, in imitation of certain sacred rites of our holy religion."

"Feet, why do I need them if I have wings to fly?"

"Seldom, very seldom, does complete truth belong to any human disclosure; seldom can it happen that something is not a little disguised, or a little mistaken."

"O, woe is me,To have seen what I have seen, see what I see!"

"It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen."

"What happens when the future has come and gone?"

"It is better to be a beggar than ignorant; for a beggar only wants money, but an ignorant person wants humanity."