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"Philosophy, n. A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing."

"WEDDING, n. A ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable."

"HYENA, n. A beast held in reverence by some oriental nations from its habit of frequenting at night the burial-places of the dead. But the medical student does that."

"Childhood, n. The period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth - two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age."

"PHOTOGRAPH, n. A picture painted by the sun without instruction in art. It is a little better than the work of an Apache, but not quite so good as that of a Cheyenne."

"NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party."

"To the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee."

"If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?"

"It was not pre-arranged. It just happened that the driver made and demand and I just didn't feel like obeying his demand . . . I was quite tired after spending a full day working."

"Enthusiasm is the great hill-climber."

"Almost anything you do is insignificant, But it is very important that you do it."

"He who knows others is wise;He who know himself is enlightened."