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"Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse."

"Happiness is an imaginary condition, formerly attributed by the living to the dead, now usually attributed by adults to children, and by children to adults."

"When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him."

"The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget."

"Formerly, when religion was strong and science weak, men mistook magic for medicine; now, when science is strong and religion weak, men mistake medicine for magic."

"A child becomes an adult when he realizes that he has a right not only to be right but also to be wrong."

"Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what seperates us from the animals. Except the weasels."

"It is the mark of an educated mind to rest satisfied with the degree of precision which the nature of the subject admits and not to seek exactness where only an approximation is possible."

"In the sixties, the world was normal and people took acid to make it weird. Nowadays the world is weird and people take prozac to make it normal."

"To-day is the pupil of yesterday."

"Who could follow Carson? Well, believe me, somebody can - and will."

"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants."