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"Brigands demand your money or your life; women require both."

"The wages of sin are death, but the benefits include dental, major medical, two week paid vacation, pension fund, and stock options. Actually, taken as a package, it's a rather attractive deal."

"You have to work years in hit shows to make people sick and tired of you, but you can accomplish this in a few weeks on television."

"Ah, what shall I be at fifty, should nature keep me alive, if I find the world so bitter when I am but twenty-five?"

"There are three principal ways to lose money: wine, women, and engineers. While the first two are more pleasant, the third is by far the more certain."

"In today's world, no State, however powerful, can protect itself on its own. Likewise, no country, weak or strong, can realize prosperity in a vacuum."

"I've stopped drinking, but only while I'm asleep."

"NIRVANA, n. In the Buddhist religion, a state of pleasurable annihilation awarded to the wise, particularly to those wise enough to understand it."

"The partisan, when he is engaged in a dispute, cares nothing about the rights of the question, but is anxious only to convince his hearers of his own assertions."

"There鈥檚 so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?"

"You can measure a programmer's perspective by noting his attitude on the continuing viability of Fortran."

"Reconciliation should be accompanied by justice, otherwise it will not last. While we all hope for peace it shouldn't be peace at any cost but peace based on principle, on justice."