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"I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect."

"This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two."

"I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the last one left."

"If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age."

"If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it."

"It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth."

"You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of live."

"Before every action ask yourself. Will this bring more monkeys on my back. Will the result of my action be a blessing or a heavy burden?"

"The universe seems neither benign nor hostile, merely indifferent."

"I want freedom for the full expression of my personality."

"It is remarkable how similar the pattern of love is to the pattern of insanity."

"It is only possible to live happily ever after on a day to day basis."