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"It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly."

"One should either be a work of art, or wear a work of art."

"There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating: people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing."

"To give an accurate description of what has never occurred is not merely the proper occupation of the historian, but the inalienable privilege of any man of parts and culture."

"The problem with the common person is that he is so unbearably common!"

"Religion is the fashionable substitute for belief."

"To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs."

"The proof that man is the noblest of all creatures is that no other creature has ever denied it."

"To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing and be nothing."

"There is no new thing under the sun."

"Laughing on the way to your execution is not generally understood by less advanced life-forms, and they'll call you crazy."

"Rincewind had been told that death was just like going into another room. The difference is, when you shout, 'Where's my clean socks?' no-one answers."