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"I am an invisible man. No, I am not a spook like those who haunted Edgar Allan Poe; nor am I one of your Hollywood-movie ectoplasms. I am invisible, understand, simply because people refuse to see me."

"A joke explained is a joke wasted."

"The Pilgrim Fathers landed on the shores of America and fell upon their knees. Then they fell upon the aborigines."

"The average man's judgement is so poor, he runs a risk every time he uses it."

"I don't want to buy anything, sell anything or process anything. I don't want to process anything bought or sold, or buy anything processed or sold, or sell anything bought, sold or processed."

"So little done--so much to do."

"In all honesty, Johnny, we are often at the mercy of the White House for the news we report. Frequently, we simply repeat verbatim what the White House tells us."

"I am as vulnerable and fragile as it is possible to be. I am shredded to the core. I am at the point where I am stripped bare."

"It's good to know there are people in the world much sicker then I am."

"I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell my children that, they just about throw up."

"Tristan and Isolde were lucky to die when they did. They'd have been sick of all that rubbish in a year."

"England and America are two countries seperated by the same language."