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"Happily ever after doesn't come free, but I'd give anything to have it."

"The woman whose behavior indicates that she will make a scene if she is told the truth asks to be deceived."

"This nation will never go back to the false comforts of the world before 911. We are engaging the enemy as we must, in places like Iraq and Afghanistan, so we will not have to face them here at home."

"The human animal differs from the lesser primates in his passion for lists of 'Ten Best'."

"No, I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God."

"Washington DC is the only place in America where people put bumper stickers on their cars the day *after* the election."

"The fewer clear facts you have in support of an opinion, the stronger your emotional attachment to that opinion."

"Timesharing just doesn't work."

"Antagonizing people when you don't have to is like casting your garbage on the waters. One day it may come floating back, smelling worse."

"A wisely chosen illustration is almost essential to fasten the truth upon the ordinary mind, and no teacher can afford to neglect this part of his preparation."

"Irrationally held truths may be more harmful than reasoned errors."

"A word to the wise is infuriating."