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"When women kiss, it always reminds me of prizefighters shaking hands."

"I never lecture, not because I am shy or a bad speaker, but simply because I detest the sort of people who go to lectures and don't want to meet them."

"War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebums and smaller adrenal glands."

"The most common of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind."

"Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard."

"Historian: an unsuccessful novelist."

"Whatever God's dream about man may be, it seems certain it cannot come true unless man cooperates."

"Those who seek consolation in existing churches often pay for their peace of mind with a tacit agreement to ignore a great deal of what is known about the way the world works."

"Clergymen have much the same in their breeches as other men."

"The opposite of the religious fanatic is not the fanatical atheist but the gentle cynic who cares not whether there is a god or not."

"Everybody likes to go their own way--to choose their own time and manner of devotion."

"The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible."