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"Adultery is the application of democracy to love."

"A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers."

"The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated."

"Criticism is prejudice made plausible."

"The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animals."

"Men are the only animals that devote themselves, day in and day out, to making one another unhappy. It is an art like any other. Its virtuosi are called altruists."

"The effort to understand the universe is one of the very few things that lifts human life a little above the level of farce, and gives it some of the grace of tragedy."

"Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than the wisest man can answer."

"Nothing can be done at once hastily and prudently."

"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."

"Why, then 'tis none to you; for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so: to me it [Denmark] is a prison."

"Whenever a friend succeeds a little something in me dies."