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"Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say that what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down."

"New York is the only city in the world where you can get deliberately run down on the sidewalk by a pedestrian."

"Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three major categories - those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost."

"People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have been left out of the pleasure."

"The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this notion rested solely on my suspicion that I would never be fit for real work, and that writing didn't require any."

"In an age when the fashion is to be in love with yourself, confessing to be in love with somebody else is an admission of unfaithfulness to one's beloved."

"They have, and bring with them, that upper-body strength. They have apparently developed that in their childhood and growing up, and they've further advanced in that regard."

"He wins every hand who mingles profit with pleasure."

"If no one ever took risks, Michelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor."

"There is no avoiding war; it can only be postponed to the advantage of others."

"The liar's punishment ... is that he cannot believe anyone else."

"'Don't tug on that...you never know what it might be attatched to."