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"Committee--a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done."

"A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done."

"If I could get my membership fee back, I'd resign from the human race."

"Do we really deserve top billing?"

"A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized."

"You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart."

"He who allows himself to be insulted, deserves to be."

"I don't know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House."

"OATH, n. In law, a solemn appeal to the Deity, made binding upon the conscience by a penalty for perjury."

"The greatest delight is to mark one's enemy, prepare everything, avenge oneself thoroughly, and then go to sleep."

"All governments eventually lean further and further towards aristocracy."

"The best executive is one who has sense enough to pick good people to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it."