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"I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get the same money for cop."

"It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them."

"Providence protects children and idiots. I know because I have tested it."

"When a disciple from the wildcat religious asylum comes marching forth, get under the bed. It doesn't matter whether he's a Christian, Hindu, Jew or Muslim."

"An enemy can partly ruin a man, but it takes a good-natured injudicious friend to complete the thing and make it perfect."

"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please"

"If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself, then make that change."

"Experience is not what happens to us, rather it is what we do with what happens to us."

"As I was walking up the stair I met a man who wasn't there. He wasn't there again today. I wish, I wish he'd stay away."

"You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that - and shudder."

"One of a hostess's duties is to act as procuress."

"If the day and the night are such that you greet them with with joy, and life emits a fragrance like flowers and sweet-scented herbs, more elastic, more starry, more immortal--that is your success."