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"You can only be young once. But you can always be immature."

"I think Superman should go on the Larry King show and announce that he would come back to life if people in all 50 states wanted him to."

"What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth ? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad."

"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base."

"As long as humanity has been human, it has looked toward the heavens and dreamed that some day, some way, there would be giant federal contracts involved."

"And, of course, you have the commercials where savvy businesspeople Get Ahead by using their MacIntosh computers to create the ultimate American business product: a really sharp-looking report."

"The strongest possible piece of advice I would give any young woman is: Don't screw around, and don't smoke."

"FELON, n. A person of greater enterprise than discretion, who in embracing an opportunity has formed an unfortunate attachment."

"A friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."

"If you make money your god, it will plague you like the devil."

"There are two things needed in these days; first, for rich men to find out how poor men live; and second, for poor men to know how rich men work."

"In a nation ruled by swine, all pigs are upward mobile."