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"I realized, I'm never gonna be a Brad Pitt, so get over it, be happy with yourself, and move on."

"You can't surprise a man with a dog."

"Women constitute half the world's population, perform nearly two-thirds of its work hours, receive one-tenth of the world's income and own less than one-hundredth of the world's property."

"It does not always follow that good men are good fathers."

"If fear alters behavior, you're already defeated."

"Every one wishes to have truth on his side, but it is not everyone sincerely wishes to be on the side of truth."

"The man who has strong opinions and always says what he thinks is courageous - and friendless."

"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Walk beside me and be my friend."

"Comedy is tragedy plus time."

"There's no such thing as quitting. Just sometimes there's a longer pause between relapses."

"Men and women, women and men. It will never work."

"Teaching was the hardest work I had ever done, and it remains the hardest work I have done to date."