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"My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted."

"Today I met with a subliminal advertising executive for just a second."

"Cross-country skiing is great if you live in a small country."

"I just bought a microwave fireplace. You can spend an evening in front of it in only eight minutes."

"I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it."

"If a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we know?"

"Vice...Virtue...It's not good to be too moral. You cheat yourself out of too much life. Aim above morality."

"I'm glad I didn't have to fight in any war. I'm glad I didn't have to pick up a gun. I'm glad I didn't get killed or kill somebody. I hope my kids enjoy the same lack of manhood."

"Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president."

"Friendship is a living thing that lasts only as long as it is nourished with kindness, empathy and understanding."

"A sudden bold and unexpected question doth many times surprise a man and lay him open."

"The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn."