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"Worries go down better with soup than without."

"Do not be wise in words - be wise in deeds."

"Rejoice not at thine enemy's fall - but don't rush to pick him up either."

"As he thinks in his heart, so he is."

"If the rich could hire the poor to die for them, the poor would make a very nice living."

"Make sure to be in with your equals if you're going to fall out with your superiors."

"One has a greater sense of intellectual degradation after an interview with a doctor than from any human experience."

"Let's not kid ourselves. Whatever we diagnose, most patients, if they don't die, get well by themselves. Our job is mainly to try to make them feel better; do no harm."

"[Medicine is] a collection of uncertain prescriptions the results of which, taken collectively, are more fatal than useful to mankind."

"Half of the modern drugs could well be thrown out of the window, except that the birds might eat them."

"One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine."

"Orthodox medicine has not found an answer to your complaint. However, luckily for you, I happen to be a quack."