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"The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them."

"Never get married while you're going to college; it's hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you've already made one mistake."

"A good listener is usually thinking about something else."

"Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while."

"No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish."

"Of all the unbearable nuisances, the ignoramus that has travelled is the worst."

"You go to war with the Army you have. They鈥檙e not the Army you might want or wish to have at a later time."

"What we learn with pleasure we never forget."

"When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country."

"It's not often that I get the benefit of the doubt."

"When I'm working on a problem, I never think about beauty. I think only how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong."

"Anything looked at closely becomes wonderful."