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"When I am happy I feel like crying, but when I am sad I don't feel like laughing. I think it is better to be happy; then you get two feelings for the price of one."

"We're all in this alone."

"Why is it when we talk to God we're praying -- but when God talks to us, we're schizophrenic?"

"What's reality anyway? Nothing but a collective hunch."

"Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?"

"Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world."

"The Art of Love: knowing how to combine the temperment of a vampire with the discretion of an anemone."

"Forgiveness is the key to happiness."

"Good taste is the enemy of creativity"

"First you imitate, then you innovate."

"A dead atheist is someone who's all dressed up with no place to go."

"Whatever it is, I fear Greeks even when they bring gifts."