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"A friend is someone who sees through you and still enjoys the view."

"To fear is one thing. To let fear grab you by the tail and swing you around is another."

"A large section of the intelligentsia seems wholly devoid of intelligence."

"You can't expect a boy to be depraved until he has been to a good school."

"The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in determination."

"'Think as I think' said the man, 'or you are abominable. You are a toad.' And after I had thought on it, I said 'I will then, be a toad.'"

"People judge you not by the size of your feet, but by whether your socks match."

"To know all is not to forgive all. It is to despise everybody."

"When we are angry or depressed in our creativity, we have misplaced our power. We have allowed someone else to determine our worth, and then we are angry at being undervalued."

"As a man can drink water from any side of a full tank, so the skilled theologian can wrest from any scripture that which will serve his purpose."

"There must be quite a few things a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them."

"Facetiously is the only English word that has all six vowels in order, James Thurber declared. 'Oh,' replied copy editor Miss Gould, 'What about abstemiously?'"