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"From the persistence of noise comes the insistence of rage. From the emergence of tone comes the divergence of thought. From the enlightenment of music comes the wisdom of... silence."

"History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it."

"Happiness is a warm puppy."

"It is not enough to be good if you have the ability to be better."

"Discourse on virtue and they pass by in droves. Whistle and dance the shimmy, and you've got an audience."

"Sleep is an eight-hour peep show of infantile erotica."

"It is not the greatness of a man's means that makes him independent, so much as the smallness of his wants."

"When kids hit the age of one, they're like miniature drunks. You have to hold onto them. They bump into things. They laugh, then two minutes later they're crying. They drool."

"Love is an obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage."

"It is an infantile superstition of the human spirit that virginity would be thought a virtue and not the barrier that separates ignorance from knowledge"

"I have no other but a woman's reason: I think him so, because I think him so."

"If we cannot end now our differences, at least we can help make the world safe for diversity."