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"The wine urges me on, the bewitching wine, which sets even a wise man to singing and to laughing gently and rouses him up to dance and brings forth words which were better unspoken."

"My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle."

"It is better to hide ignorance, but it is hard to do this when we relax over wine."

"I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake--which I also keep handy."

"I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on."

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."

"Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water."

"The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass."

"If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt."

"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."