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"There is a particular disdain with which Siamese cats regard you. Anyone who has walked in on the Queen cleaning her teeth will be familiar with the feeling."

"The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move."

"I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."

"My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefor excused from saving Universes."

"She is the least benightedly unintelligent organic lifeform it has ever been my distinct lack of pleasure not to have been able to avoid meeting."

"Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space."

"The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been."

"HUSBAND, n. One who, having dined, is charged with the care of the plate."

"Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion."

"A religion which requires persecution to sustain it is of the devil's propagation."

"Successful people are very lucky. Just ask any failure."

"The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible."