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"Dont get married, just find someone you dont like and buy them a house."

"Time engraves our faces with all the tears we have not shed."

"The difference between a rut and a grave is the depth."

"I may not agree with what you say, but I'll fight to the death for your right to die in a fire of suspicious origin"

"Patience is often merely the guise of Cowardice."

"One of the great dreams of man must be to find some place between the extremes of nature and civilization where it is possible to live without regret."

"It is easier to write an indifferent poem than to understand a good one."

"One should never know too precisely whom one has married."

"To find everything profound - that is an inconvenient trait. It makes one strain one's eyes all the time, and in the end one finds more than one might have wished."

"Though one should be prepared to vomit rather frequently and disport with pink elephants and assorted grotesqueries while trying often unsuccessfully to make one's way to the toilet."

"You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time."

"Beware of him who hates the laugh of a child."