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"Life was a funny thing that occured on the way to the grave."

"Is not the whole world a vast house of assignation to which the filing system has been lost?"

"The English think incompetence is the same thing as sincerity."

"The continued propinquity of another human being cramps the style after a time unless that person is somebody you think you love. Then the burden becomes intolerable at once."

"Even holligans marry, though they know that marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever."

"For flavor, instant sex will never supercede the stuff you have to peel and cook."

"Be not slow to visit the sick."

"Look to your health; and if you have it, praise God and value it next to conscience; for health is the second blessing that we mortals are capable of, a blessing money can't buy."

"Preserving health by too severe a rule is a worrisome malady."

"A wise man should consider that health is the greatest of human blessings, and learn how by his own thought to derive benefit from his illnesses."

"Eating everything you want is not that much fun. When you live a life with no boundaries, there鈥檚 less joy. If you can eat anything you want to, what鈥檚 the fun in eating anything you want to?"

"Health is worth more than learning."